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I’m baaack!

February 12, 2012

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.

Wow! 2011 was a tough year for me. Last spring I started feeling sick a lot of the time, and just keeping up with our daily demands has become a struggle. I have been suffering from severe headaches, body pain, and extreme exhaustion. Initially I thought this was something that I could fix on my own. I’m a firm believer of the “Let thy food be thy medicine” school of thought, so I focused on my diet and tried to eat all the right things. I read countless books on nutrition, and spent hours online researching food and diet only to emerge more confused and overwhelmed with all the conflicting viewpoints out there. It seems that everyone is trying to sell a book or a program, and my bullshit detector is not so keen lately.

I have also been to several doctors over the past year; and I have been offered a number of drugs, all promising to treat one symptom or another. I started out refusing everything, but eventually caved due to the desperate need for relief; only to be totally disappointed or sickened by the adverse effects of the drugs.  I have taken tests and labs galore. All that I have come up with thus far is that I have elevated levels of inflammation in my body, and I’m allergic to everything (and I mean everything). I don’t know if the inflammation is causing the allergies, or if it is the other way around, but I intend to find out.

My primary care doctor seems to think there is nothing really wrong with me (hello, the inflammation) but that I’m in danger of getting sick later on in life. Whatever that means? I tried to argue with him, but he’s the MD. This reminds me of a YouTube video posted by my ND friend (and soon-to-be-healer), Dr. Peter Swanz, in which he discusses how we should  rate our health based on our vitality; and that the “absence of disease” doesn’t necessarily mean that we are healthy. Our health is totally connected to our quality of life, and feeling so awful for so long has definitely negatively impacted my quality of life.

I have high standards for my family, and tend to exhaust myself trying to meet them. I have high standards for myself, and can never live up to them. It’s the same for the blog. I want to give it my all, but I feel like a hypocrite for preaching about healthy eating and the health of the planet while feeling as sick as a dog. All these wants and needs I have are fine and normal. I think. The problem is that I feel the need to do everything amazingly, and totally beat myself up every time I fail. And with standards like mine, I fail A LOT. I absolutely love to write, but can’t do it with even the slightest distraction. My life is full of distractions, and I’m never alone. Never.

Enter the stress factor! Apparently, stress can make you really, really sick. In fact, Chris Kresser, licensed acupuncturist, integrative health practitioner, and amazing blog author believes that stress reduction/management is absolutely mandatory in achieving true health! According to step #6 of his informative series, 9 Steps to Perfect Health, “…no matter what diet you follow, how much you exercise and what supplements you take, if you’re not managing your stress you will still be at risk for modern degenerative conditions like heart disease, diabetes, hypothyroidism and autoimmunity. Geez, stress is a bitch!

So, I have to fight to keep doing this thing that I love! Why I am rambling about all this, you ask? Well, because my days of trying to be perfect are over. I’m sure I wasn’t fooling anyone (except myself) anyway, so I’m coming clean for my own sake. I will write this blog. Some posts will be great, and some posts will suck. Some days it will be about green living or some healthful topic, and others it will be about whatever it is I need to get off my chest. I begin my journey to wellness here and now, and I want to share it with you!

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